Tempting Fate
by GiraffeGirl
Summary: Rose has been tempting fate too long... what happens is inevitable.
1. Something's Coming

**A/N: The inevitable Doomsday fic! Bit sad really sigh. Some of the chapters are VERY short, but I think the last one's the best.

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Rose look sideways sharply as he spoke. For a brief moment, she'd felt his hand go cold, like the blood had drained out of it, and his eyes had flickered as he looked up at the sky. Imperceptible to most people, but to her, after all she'd been through with him, it was obvious. For that split second, she saw something she hadn't seen in his face for so long, not since he'd regenerated anyway. Fear. 

"Something's in the air. Something's coming," he said, his voice even and calm, but tinged with something else. "A storm's approaching."

Rose gazed up too, trying to find what the Doctor was seeing. All she could see was the fireworks from the opening ceremony, in all their colours and shapes. She'd always liked fireworks. She could remember all those bonfire nights when she was younger, when she and Mickey had sat peacefully together, hand in hand, just looking up at the sky. Fireworks had always seemed other-worldly to her, like something alien. Beautiful, but alien.

Beyond the fireworks were the stars, places she'd been and places she hadn't. She could see them all, spread out like crystals against the velvet sky. But there was nothing untoward there, nothing she could see. No Sycarax spaceship, no Dalek fleet. Nothing apart from the night sky, looking down on a celebrating world.

She looked back at the Doctor again. If he said something was coming, he was probably right. But what? And when?

Things had come before. Things were always coming. That was the way life was with the Doctor; things just happened, and when they did, you had no choice, you had to jump in with both feet. It was fight or die. It wasn't part of the Doctor's world to ignore things that came along; he had to get involved. And when he got involved, you got involved.

Rose sometimes lost track of time. Some mornings she'd wake up and wonder what day, month, year it was. For Christmas, the Doctor had presented her with a watch.

"It's got two dials," he'd pointed out eagerly. "So you can set it to your time and to… well, wherever we end up."

It had been so thoughtful of him, so sweet and kind. Just like what he'd done with her phone all that time ago, fixing things up to give her a link back to home. When things got bad wherever she was now, she was able to look at that watch and think what her mum would be doing back home. She used to think of Mickey too, but Mickey wasn't there anymore.

Even though she'd lost track of time, Rose would never forget that first meeting with the Doctor. When she looked back, it was like experiencing it all again, she could remember every detail. The feel of the cold basement wall up against her back. The sudden sense that someone else was down there. The grasp of her hand. The rough feel of someone else's skin. And of course, that word, that was imprinted in her memory forever.

"Run!"

Without thinking, she'd entered his life, immersed in everything he did. Even after being told what he was, how he brought death with him, she'd still followed him. Because she had to. Because she needed him.

Together they'd done it all, seen so much, been to so many places, places she couldn't even spell. No one would ever believe what she'd seen, who she'd met. Charles Dickens, Queen Victoria, the Dalek Emperor. They'd walked into every approaching storm and faced it head on.

"**_Together we faced the cold outside, no one can say we didn't try, and I won't ever give you up or let you go."_**

They were an odd pair really. The Last Time Lord, and a nineteen-year-old London girl with no job, no future and no expectations in life. Both outcast and given up on. Sometimes, Rose had lain awake at night and wondered if in actual fact, it was the Doctor that needed her more than she needed him. When she'd first met him, he was cold, unfeeling. He'd been ready to brush her off and leave her behind. But then he'd paused, he'd come back for her. This man, this man full of infinite power, who could go anywhere… he'd come back for her. Why? It wasn't until she'd seen the end of the world that Rose had realised just why the Doctor had wanted her to come with him. Because he was lonely. He'd admitted as much today. He needed someone to hold his hand. The universe was a cold lonely place on your own. She knew that. The Powell Estate was a cold lonely place on your own.

Maybe they weren't such an odd pair after all.

"**_Together we faced our final fears, remember the moments that we shared, that's why I'll never give you up, or let you go."_**

Together they'd seen so much. He'd given her chances that she could never have dreamed about. Meeting her father… what other bloke would take you on a date to meet your long dead father? He'd given her another chance to set things right and when she'd screwed up he'd forgiven her. She'd caused a rift in time and nearly destroyed the universe and _he'd forgiven her_. Most guys found it hard to forgive you if you accidentally shrank their favourite football shirt.

That had been hard, seeing her dad and having to admit defeat and let time do its own thing. Terrifying. Rose would always say that had been the worst thing she'd had to see, no matter what else had happened along her journeys with the Doctor. She'd faced her fear, seeing her dad die and being able to do nothing to stop it. Because the Doctor had been there, they'd faced it together.

That was why she believed that this time, no matter what he said, whatever was coming, they'd be fine. Just like they always had been before.

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Lyrics from "Curtain Falls" by Blue 


	2. We'll be ready

"_**I'm always ready. I won't let you out of my sight."**_

She knew she was bothering him this evening, but his words kept ringing around her head. She'd held off until after the Olympics, determined to have one last time of fun with the man she adored above all the others. But just when she was starting to forget things and really believe that they were just here to see the greatest show on earth, she'd catch sight of him looking at her out of the corner of her eye. His face was drawn and pale, and he seemed to be looking at her more intensely than usual. As soon as she'd turned to face him, his face had creased into a wide smile and he'd made some sort of joke. But there was something not right.

"Rose, please, just forget I said anything," he groaned, stomping off down the TARDIS corridors. "I was tired, I'd been trapped in a drawing for half the day and I ran carrying a burning torch after that… do you _know_ how heavy that thing was?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Very, that's the answer to that question!" Before Rose could get a word in, he grinned suddenly. "God, but that was a stroke of genius, wasn't it? I'm part of the 2012 Olympics, Rose! Me! A Time Lord!"

"Congratulations," Rose said dryly and continued before she could get cut off again. "But what you said… what do you mean, something's coming?"

"Rose, please!"

"No, I won't drop it!" Rose shook her head defiantly. "You can't just go being all enigmatic like that – yes I can use long words too! – and then not explain what you mean! It's not fair, Doctor, it's… it's not fair," she finished, in a much smaller voice. She didn't know why she was so angry with him. She didn't feel angry. She felt… scared. Terrified. Apprehensive. The look on his face had worried her all evening. That face hadn't belonged to this Doctor. It was so grave and serious and strange… if she hadn't known better, she'd have said he was starting to regress and his regenerations were going haywire. The old Doctor used to say mysterious things and then not explain them. She'd thought that now they were on an even footing, that he'd explain whatever was going on.

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout."

The Doctor nodded, his expression extremely guarded. "You look tired. Go and get some sleep."

"I'm not a child." Rose jutted her chin out.

"I know. But you are tired." When Rose still didn't move the Doctor saw he was beaten and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't, I'm fine," Rose insisted.

"Rose." The Doctor gave her a pointed look and she felt herself give way.

"Okay, maybe you did freak me out a bit." She shrugged. "But it's cool."

"No, it's not. I've worried you for no good reason. Look, it's probably just my extra sensory Time Lord powers going a bit crazy, I need to recharge my batteries or something," he teased. "You know what I'm like, can never just enjoy a pretty firework display, have to read something more into it…" He tailed off as he caught Rose's dubious look. "Not being that convincing, am I?" he pulled a face. "Okay then. What do you want me to say?"

Rose shrugged. "I don't know."

"Come on, ask me anything, I'll answer it truthfully. I guess I owe you for getting me out of the slight fix I was in earlier."

Rose hesitated. "Did you mean what you said? About the storm and… everything?" She willed him to say no, that he'd just been overreacting. She wished she could have believed his recent retraction of the statement but she knew him too well for that. Even before she'd finished asking the question, she knew the answer. And didn't want to hear him say it.

But say it he did. "Yes. I did."

"What do you think it is?"

"I never said you could ask two questions!" The attempt at joviality failed and his face fell again. "I don't know. That's the truth, Rose. I don't know."

Rose nodded and walked around the control panel thoughtfully, trailing her finger on the edge. She stopped and looked up. "Do you think it's anything to do with what that… _thing_ said?"

He knew what she meant and struggled to deny it. Eventually he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know that either."

Rose nodded again. He hadn't denied it. He'd hadn't told her what he had before. _It lied_. Maybe he didn't believe that anymore. Maybe he never had.

"I might go to bed now," she said abruptly.

The Doctor caught her arm. "Rose." He pulled her into a hug and then held her at arms length to look at her. "Rose, I promise you, this storm, this _thing_, whatever it is… we'll be ready. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." He raised his eyebrows. "Feel better?"

Rose nodded, but slightly half-heartedly. The Doctor squeezed her tight to him again and mumbled into her hair. "We'll be fine. I won't let you out my sight."

He'd never broken a promise before. Whenever he'd said he'd get her out of somewhere, he had. Sort of. From the moment she'd put her hand in his, she'd trusted him with her life, and he'd never let her down, no matter how much it had looked like it at the time.

That first time he'd saved her, she hadn't even realised she needed rescuing. Running down that corridor, she'd wondered what she was doing. It was just students, nothing terrible. But he'd known it wasn't just students and she couldn't help thinking… well, why was he there when she needed him? Why had he found her?

He'd been willing to risk the world for her. She remembered that like it was yesterday. It was strange, all the things she'd seen, all the places she'd been… you'd have thought she would have forgotten some of it. But a single smell or taste or word could trigger off dozens of memories, as vividly as if they were showing on a screen in front of her. He'd hesitated for one moment, not wanting to risk her life to save everyone else's. "_I could save the world… but lose you."_

And more recently, in that black hole… she was almost certain he was upset to have let her down. _"I promised Jackie I'd always take you home."_ Even when she'd tried consoling him, insisting it wasn't so bad, he'd remained in the same mood. All he'd wanted was to protect her. Why her? What was so special about her?

He'd do anything to look after her. This time would be no different.

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Lyrics from "I'll be ready" aka... the Baywatch theme tune! Love it! 


	3. Getting old

**Thanks for the reviews so far. I've uploaded three this time, because the chapters are so short. One more chapter to come after these. Enjoy! (I hope you do!)

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"__****I think I've cried about a million tears, done a lot of living in a few short years."**

"Are you bored?"

Rose looked up from where she'd been fiddling with the rings on her fingers, leaning back in her chair, her bare feet resting on the control panel. She made an odd sight really, a teenager in her pyjamas in the control room of a spaceship. She shook her head. "No. Why?"

"Yes you are. You're bored."

"No I'm not!" Rose protested, swinging her feet onto the floor. "Honestly!"

"Rose, it's okay if you're bored," the Doctor continued. "I mean, watching me pottering around, fiddling with this and that… not exactly five star entertainment is it?"

"I like watching you," Rose said firmly. "I like being around you."

The Doctor lifted his head up from where he was looking underneath the console and flashed her a quick grin. "I like you being around too. Now, what can we do to relieve your boredom? Where do you fancy going?"

She shrugged. It was strange; for the first time ever she wasn't sure she wanted to go anywhere. She was trying to convince herself that it was nothing to do with what the Doctor had said a few days ago, but she was lying to herself. Maybe if they just stayed here, wherever _here_ was, then things wouldn't change and that storm would never come.

"Well that's helpful," the Doctor teased. "Forwards? Backwards? Across space? I know this really nice beach on one of the rings of Saturn… nasty sandstorms though. Or we could… Rose?"

Rose forced herself to pay attention to what he was saying. "That sounds nice."

"You could be a bit more enthusiastic! I don't take just _anybody_ to the third ring of Saturn you know!"

Rose smiled. "I know. It's just… I don't really feel like going anywhere today."

The Doctor frowned. "Are you okay? You've been very quiet for the last few days. What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Rose faked a bright grin. "I'm brilliant. _Fantastic_ in fact." She slipped off the chair and stood up. "I just don't really want to go anywhere else but here."

The Doctor nodded slowly and a smile spread across his face. "Okay. We'll just have to find something to do here then. What do you fancy?"

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Rose was unable to resist giggling as she attempted to ask the next question. "Right, okay… first girl you had a crush on." She dissolved into fits of laughter instantly.

"Oh, come on, Rose!" The Doctor frowned and sat up. "That's a silly question!"

"You said you wanted to play!" Rose reminded him, propping herself up on her elbows. "This is the kind of game I used to play back home." She bit her tongue. "So… got an answer?"

"No!" He replied crossly. "Seriously, these questions are childish."

"I'm only nineteen, Doctor," Rose reminded him. "I was pretty childish before..." She didn't finish her sentence and her eyes dropped to the floor. The Doctor waited a long time before speaking.

"What are you thinking?"

Rose sighed heavily and lay back down on the control room floor. It was surprisingly comfortable, despite being made of sturdy steel. She gazed up at the ceiling and at the strange patterns she saw there. Light from the vortex played upon the walls and made the room seem to change colour every few seconds. It was comforting, like being encased somewhere warm and relaxing.

After a long wait, she finally replied. "I was just thinking… Me and Mickey used to play games like this all the time. You know, to pass away the boring hours before… well, before you." She smiled. "I know you don't want to hear this, but he usually had good answers for all the questions I asked him."

The Doctor had his arms wrapped around his knees as he smiled at her words. "You still miss him, don't you?"

Rose sighed again. "I don't know, I… it's not like an everyday thing or anything. I don't walk around all day thinking, oh my god, Mickey's gone, it's… It's just sometimes, I sort of forget and then it's like, oh my god, Mickey's _gone_." She addressed the whole speech to the ceiling, her voice soft and sad. She sat up and shook herself. "It doesn't matter really. I mean, he wanted to stay, didn't he? And it's not like I never left him, is it?"

"Sort of different though," the Doctor said softly. "You always went back to him."

"Maybe." Rose shrugged. "Maybe in body I did." Her eyes met the Doctor's for a fleeting second and then she stood up. "But anyway. If you're not going to play the game, then maybe we should do something else. I'm going to go and get changed, and when I come back, you can take me somewhere. Yeah?"

The Doctor smiled. "Yeah. Any preferences?" he added as she sauntered off down the corridor.

She held her hand up, not even turning her head. "Nope, it's all up to you."

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Life with the Doctor wasn't all fun and games. Quite apart from anything else, he despised most of the games Rose ever suggested, and the ones he liked he was an expert at. The amount of times Rose had been stupid enough to believe that this time, _this time_, she'd triumph at chess was heading into the region of hundreds. But aside from the parlour games they played to pass some of the time they had together, Rose was always aware of a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. A twinge below her right eye. She sometimes had to pinch herself to realise that this wasn't a dream, she really _was_ with the Doctor, running from God alone knew what. And sometimes even He didn't have a clue.

She knew her mum thought that she was always of gallivanting somewhere with him.

"Having the time of your life while I'm just sitting here, waiting for that phone to ring!" she'd moaned on more than once occasion. "And then you just come home and dump all your washing on me! Does that _thing_ not have a laundry?"

And life was fun in some ways. The Doctor had opened her eyes to so many things. He'd shown her how her life could be lived, that there was more to life than eating, sleeping and going to work. She'd never had great ambitions as a child; all Rose Tyler had expected to happen was that she'd do exactly what her mum had done. And then she'd met him, the man who had taken her life over. Life was better like this.

But life was worse too. She couldn't remember crying this much since she was tiny. She'd always been strong, always the gutsy hard girl in the school yard. Since she'd been with the Doctor, she'd seen so much, too much… she was hardly the same person anymore. She felt so much older than her years; who else could have crammed all she had into a few short months? She sometimes forgot she'd had a life before the Doctor, it all seemed so surreal to believe that she'd once been a normal human, unaware that there was anything else out there.

The Doctor was her best friend, her soulmate. She knew she couldn't survive without him. Even the thought of him not being by her side tore her apart. She'd never felt like that about Mickey. She'd been devastated to leave him behind, but she wondered how much that was because she didn't want him to have adventures without her. Mickey really _was_ living the dangerous life, away from everything he'd ever known. Mickey Smith… boring Mickey who she'd left behind for a life in the stars with the Doctor. Mickey the one person she'd always trusted, always known was on her side. She'd cried for him so many times, silently, locked in her room at night. The Doctor was her soulmate but Mickey was her best friend. He was home, he was her childhood. He was part of her. And now he was gone, forever.

She was getting old.

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**Lyrics from "First Love" by... Billie Piper! Buy the albums, they rule!**


	4. Just a word

"_**Nothing happens on its own, fate is just a word."**_

The Doctor didn't believe in fate. It was far too unscientific and illogical to appeal to him.

"Fate's just a stupid ape word for something they can't understand," he'd insisted when she'd suggested the concept. "If they could be bothered to look, they'd see a reason for it."

Maybe he was right. It was suddenly all clear to Rose exactly what he meant when he said that everything had its consequences. Looking round now at her mum, Pete, Mickey, Jake, the Doctor… this was beyond fate, this was… It seemed like everything she'd ever seen with the Doctor had collided at this one moment, ready to tip them all over the edge. To kill all the people she loved. _I wish I'd never met you, Doctor_. She erased that thought instantly, finding herself glancing over at him quickly to see if, by any small chance, he had heard her thought. She would never have changed it, even if, by knowing the Doctor, by going to the places she had, she had destroyed her life, the lives of her mum and Mickey… the lives of the world. It was all worth it because she'd known him.

Just as she was thinking all of that, she felt her stomach give way and everything around her go blurry. When her vision cleared she found herself standing in a room, just like the one she'd just been in, only darker and derelict. She didn't feel the impending doom she'd felt in the other room. But she didn't feel the hope either. She looked round at her companions. Mum. Pete. Mickey. Jake. But no Doctor.

"No. He's not doing that to me again," she said decisively, pressing the yellow button. The blurriness hit her again before she opened her eyes and saw him again. He didn't look as amazed as she'd expected him to. Maybe he did believe in fate after all.

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**Lyrics from "Don't let go" by David Sneddon**


	5. Not this way

"_**And you really didn't think it would happen, but it really is the end of the line."**_

As she screamed and felt the pull of the void, Rose wanted to say something more than an anguished cry. She wanted to say exactly what the Doctor would have said, what he'd taught her to say from the moment she'd met him. _No_. No, this wasn't fair, this wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to end this way. She'd stuck by him through everything, held his hand when he needed it, saved his life, saved the world. This couldn't be it, she couldn't be leaving him.

She remembered that moment a few weeks ago, when she'd thought she'd lost him forever. The feelings she'd felt had overwhelmed her; she felt like part of her was missing, like a leg or something. She hadn't realised quite how vital the Doctor was to her existence until then. But more than that, she was scared for him. Scared that he was alone now, all by himself. _Who's gonna hold his hand now?_ It broke her heart in two to think that he was lonely.

And now it was all coming true. Even as she pointlessly struggled against the pull of the void, Rose knew what she was fighting for. It wasn't for her life; it was to be the hand the Doctor held. It was to be the one to share everything with him. He'd had other companions in the past, she knew that, he'd find someone else if she was gone. But she didn't want him to have anyone else, she wanted to be his plus-one.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

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**Lyrics from "Driftwood" by Travis**

**Sorry for such short chapters... chapter 6 is longer!**


	6. Run

**LAST CHAPTER! In all honesty, this was just a fill in story as I'm heavily avoiding writing the long story I've got planned. I felt the need to write something and this was it. And, inevitably for me, it involves song lyrics. Snow Patrol's "Run" to be precise. Thanks for the reviews and the general interest.

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"__****I'll sing it one last time for you, and then we really have to go. You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done"**

Rose couldn't believe it. She was standing so close to him, close enough to touch him… but she couldn't. She could never touch him again, never feel his arms locked tightly around her waist, lifting her off of the ground. He was just an image now, a projection of himself. He didn't even smell like her doctor.

The wind whipped her hair across her face and she noticed it didn't even touch him. He really wasn't here. Part of her felt cheated; she'd travelled all this way just to see a picture.

She could hear the words the Doctor was saying, but something else was reaching her hearing. It was his voice, but… it wasn't. It sounded like him, but it couldn't possibly be. It was like she could hear his thoughts, hear him on another level to the usual one. And he was saying so much more to her in his head.

_"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry. But this is it. This is the end. I never wanted this for you. You…you're the one I didn't want to lose."_

"_**And I can barely look at you. But every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere, away from here."**_

Every time she looked at him, Rose felt a sharp stab of pain. This was torture, him being here but not _being_ here. He said he couldn't come through properly, that two universes would collapse if he even tried. Rose didn't care. What were two universes compared to her and the Doctor? They'd saved countless worlds as it was, putting themselves out to do it. They could easily have left so many times; on the Gamestation he'd even suggested it. But they hadn't, they'd stayed and fought it out and risked life and limb. The universes owed them something.

Looking at him made Rose remember everything they'd shared together. And everything they'd lost. So much time wasted, wiling away hours, days, just drifting around, the ultimate in back-packing. They'd talked about everything, but they'd never said what really mattered. Ever since she'd been trapped here, on this strange Earth, away from home, all she'd been able to think about was what they should have spent all that time doing. They should have held on tightly and never left each other's sides. She shouldn't have wandered off so much. And now this was it, it really was over. Rose could barely look him in the eye it hurt so much.

But she had to. She couldn't drag her eyes away from him for more than a few seconds. Because this was it, her last chance. Her last chance to gaze upon the man she loved, the man she would always love. He'd saved her from the ordinary life she'd been all but destined to live and shown her how life could be, how it should be. She didn't want to let him go, she couldn't imagine never seeing him again. Those eyes, that stupid smile, his ruffled hair… How could she say goodbye to any of it?

Suddenly, Rose wanted more than anything to be anywhere but here, on this beach, in this world. Any planet would do, any galaxy, any time. Because anywhere else they'd be together, her and the Doctor. They'd work anywhere but here. Nothing could tear them apart if she could just get out of this place. Because this place was her nightmare, the stuff that woke her up in a hot sweat in the middle of the night. And she knew it was his nightmare too. The nightmares of a Time Lord; not monsters, or death, but being alone. Being fated to live your endless life with no one's hand to hold.

"_**Light up, light up, as if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear."**_

Rose didn't want to cry. She'd cried so hard for everything she'd lost already. It was silly really, if you looked at it objectively. Since she'd been thrown into this world, she'd gained much more than she'd lost, at least on paper. She'd got a dad, something she'd never had before. Pete was wonderful, he was everything she'd ever imagined her dad to be. He was successful and kind and brave and so in love with her mum that it sometimes made Rose speechless. She'd seen a new smile come across her mum's face; she was reunited with the love of her life, the one she'd thought she'd never see again. Rose couldn't have begrudged her that. Rose herself had gained her boyfriend back, the best friend she'd lost all that time ago. Life should have seemed much better. Except she'd lost the man she loved.

She tried so hard not to cry. Part of her was angry with herself for even considering crying, angry with him for making her feel this way. The night she'd first had the dream had been the first night she hadn't cried herself to sleep since they'd come here. She didn't know if that was because her heart was starting to heal, or whether it was because it couldn't break any further. Either way, she was wrong. Because as she looked at him, her heart cracked just that bit more and she felt sure it was irrepairable. What choice did she have but to cry? There was nothing left for her to do but let the pain out.

"_**Louder, louder, and we'll run for our lives. I can hardly speak, I understand why you can't raise your voice to say."**_

His voice was so quiet and indistinct. Like those whispers had been for the past few months, calling her name, bringing her here. Rose wanted to grab his arms and make him talk louder, to fill the beach with his voice. She wanted to hear him singing again, anything would do. Those stupid songs he used to play on the TARDIS, which she'd tease him about. His voice wasn't perfect, but he always looked so happy to be alive when he was singing like that, throwing in some fancy footwork for good measure. She wanted to hear his laugh cutting through the harsh Norewegian wind. But most of all she wanted him to say her name, over and over again, louder and louder. Of all of the things he'd ever said to her, her name was the one that sent the tingles down her spine. Something he did to that one short syllable made her feel like the most important thing in the universe to him. And she didn't ever want to let that go and stop being his everything.

She wanted to say all of that to him, but the words wouldn't come. Her mind seemed to have stalled. All that time she'd spent thinking, just imagining what she'd say to him if she ever saw him again. And now she was here, nothing would come up to her lips. And what did, was so choked with sobs that was indistinguishable. She knew why he wasn't saying the words she wanted to hear; he couldn't.

He'd never been great with the words. He'd always blocked part of himself off from her, refusing to let her in more than a little way. It had infuriated her then, and it did so more now. Running. That was what they were good at. Running from danger… and sometimes running straight into more. If only they could run away from this moment, the moment she was dreading. His two minutes were nearly up. And then it really would be goodbye.

"_**To think I might not see those eyes, makes it so hard not to cry, and as we say our long goodbyes, I nearly do."**_

Rose had given up on not crying. The tears streamed down her face continually, as she struggled to say what she wanted to say, what she needed to say. She'd never see him again, if she didn't tell him now… Thought he had to know. He had to know why she was crying. It wasn't because she'd lost the chance to escape her human life, where all she did was go to work, sleep and eat chips. It wasn't because she was destined to live out the rest of her life just gazing up at the stars instead of sailing amongst them. That was all bad enough; she'd seen so much that she had often wondered how she'd manage without it all. She figured she'd just have to get used to it now.

No, she wasn't crying because her wings had been clipped. She was crying because she couldn't imagine living a life without him. Even thinking about not looking into those eyes each day made her more upset. Oh, she knew if she'd have stayed with him that those eyes would have changed from brown to green to hazel... but they were still the same, right in the centre. Her Doctor's eyes. Only they weren't hers anymore.

He said he'd travel on, alone, and Rose half wanted him to. She didn't want to be replaced, either on board the TARDIS or in his hearts. She wanted to be the shining star in his life who he'd never forget and would never get over, like he was to her. And yet she couldn't bear to think of him alone. She couldn't wish that on him. She wanted him to find someone else, someone who needed him as much as she'd needed him. She didn't want to imagine he could love another, but if it would make that smile appear on his face again… She wanted him to be happy.

"_**Light up, light up, as if you have a choice. Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear."**_

Rose didn't want him to be haunted by her memory. She didn't want him to avoid her room on the TARDIS and fall into one of his brooding silent reveries every time he heard the name Rose. He would live for too much longer to be disturbed by some teenager he'd shared a few short years of his life with.

Anyway, no matter what he did, she'd be with him, she knew that. She'd never stop imagining where he was, who he was with, what he was doing. If she could have done, she'd have been there with him. She wished she could say it all to him now, that he'd never be alone, her thoughts and love would always be with him. Then she looked into his eyes again. And realised he already knew.

"**_Slower, slower, we don't have time for that. All I wants to find an easier way to get out of our little heads."_**

The time was rushing by too fast. Those two minutes had passed in seconds it seemed. Rose wanted the time to go slower, for him to speak slower. But there was no time for it. Two and a half years crammed into two minutes. It was impossible.

She could have sworn she heard him laugh, but that was just his thoughts again. She had to smile inwardly. Here they were, worrying about being parted forever when it happened every day to thousands of people. It had happened for her mum and dad. They were just one of the crowd. There were so many more important things happening every second that it really made their own heartache pale in comparison. But to them… this was it. This was the universe, crammed into two insignificant people on a lonely beach.

"_**Have heart, my dear, we're bound to be afraid. Even if it's just for a few days, making up for all this mess."**_

When it came, the end came too soon. The words died away on the coastal breeze as the image faded and then that was it. He was gone. There was no trace of him left, not a footprint or even a breath. He really was gone. Rose stared at the spot he'd been for a few moments after he'd gone, not daring to believe that it was over. Then she felt her heart break in two and fall through her stomach. Her sobs rose up and she didn't feel the need to check them anymore.

Fear joined her tears. It was like she had just been living for this moment for the last few months, living for when she would see him again. She hadn't dared think about afterwards. And now she was faced with it all. A lifetime without him. She wondered if he was as scared as she was at this moment.

She turned and ran, suddenly needing the support of her mum. As she fell into Jackie's arms, she couldn't help still believing that this wasn't it for them. They deserved much more. Even just a few days more, as payment for all they'd done. She buried her head in Jackie's coat, her sobs making her shudder.

There was nothing more they could do. They had to leave it to fate now.


End file.
